If your childhood sucked, but cannot get over it, here’s one way on how to stop blaming your parents for the past.
Realize!!! For all that you are and all the bad things that happened in your life, blaming your parents is not going to make your life any better but possibly worse.
BREAK THE CYCLE. For YOURSELF and the others…
I understand how your feel, but…
If you had a really bad experience during the childhood or do not have a good relationship with your parents for whatever reason and if you harbor grudges or feel sad about the way things were and way things are, then that’s fine….
However, dwelling on your past or your negative circumstance is not going to do you any good either. I’m not telling you to force yourself to forgive them or anything. But think about what good it had made in your life by being sad and mad over what happened during your childhood and how much you wish your life was different in the past and how much you blame your parents for how your life was and even how your life is at the moment. Really think about it…What good had it made in your life???
What has happened in the past is what has happened. You can’t change that.
How your parents are and what they had done to you can’t be changed either.
What they have done…You are not responsible for it…
If your parents were very cruel to you, then you gotta understand that it’s just another reflection of negative things that had happened in their own lives. And they never made it past that. And it’s never personal and you are not responsible for it either.
And if your life is in certain way because of your past experience and if your past has affected you and made you the person that you are right now, it is understandable. But also it does not have to continue to be that way either.
You don’t have to let the negative past to continue to affect you in negative ways. You do not have to keep looking back and be so angry over how unfair everything was. You do not have to let it keep directing you towards the dark path.
You can break the cycle….
You have a choice. You have the ability to reduce the negative power it has on you. You have the ability to not let it keep pulling you back.
You can break the cycle.
If there’s one thing that you can be responsible for is not your past, but your choice that you can make today. Again understand that what your parents had done to you, how they are now and what happened in the past are not your responsibility. And none of it was your fault either. But again what you can do is….
Break the cycle.
You have the power to break the cycle and re-establish your life and create a brighter new cycle for yourself and even for your child or children(if you are also a parent).
How to stop blaming your parents for the past – Take one step at a time…
Now…. Be patient with it. Be patient with yourself. Your decades of conditioned perspective will not disappear in one day because now you recognize how your views have done your no good and you have the will to re-direct your life. It may take a long time. Your past may still come back to you throughout your journey. But as long as you take each step every single day, the chain will become weaker and weaker.
Again, the first most important thing to understand is what has happened was what has happened and it was never personal and you are not responsible for it. So understand that It’s not personal. And understand that perhaps your parents are going through their own struggle as well. By understanding this may relieve a lot of pressure, bitterness and grudge.
And KNOW that you can break free from your past. Little by little. Step by step. It can get smaller and smaller until the chain barely holding you from your past.
If you haven’t been shown enough love as a child, you can find ways to love yourself. Little by little. Until your past is no longer holding you tightly.
If you had been repeating the cycle and doing the same negative things that your parents had done, and if you have the ability to recognize it and want to change it, you can. With consistent and conscious effort, you do not have to keep repeating the same destructive pattern. Little by little. Until it loses its power.
If you are a parent, then understand that you do have the power to break the cycle and create brighter future for your child or children and further generations ahead.